Letter from the Founder
“My Resolve is Stronger than Ever”
Melody Grace, Sep 1 2023
I recently lost someone I knew to suicide. This has never happened to me before, and I’m still in shock. My emotions range from bewilderment to anger to deep sadness and sometimes regret. I went to uni with Joe, he was a part of my small class of around 7 people at WAAPA, doing the songwriting stream. He had a beautiful way of putting together lyrics and chords, he had a gentle way of expressing everything and he would serenade everyone with his guitar playing. Since then I would bump into Joe from time to time, he used to work at the Coles checkout in Maylands when I lived there, and once I saw him with his girlfriend at the time, at my local supermarket in North Perth.
Why was it always the supermarket? I used to have anxiety attacks in supermarkets, overwhelmed by the need of everyone around me, desperately wanting to talk to everyone, if I could only bring some hope amongst the mundaneness of life. I love meeting new people, but I always wanted to make an impression that could stick with them. I always wanted to give them something they could hold on to. Because I never felt like I could say enough in the moment. I would freeze up. I would let the shallow hello be all there is. But I always knew there was so much more. There always is.
I never had a clue that Joe was deeply struggling with his mental health. He seemed like the chirpy type, friendly and fairly upbeat, but with a sure depth to him. He was the kind I felt I couldn’t really work out. Or maybe that I didn’t feel cool enough to be friends with. I came late to the picture at WAAPA. I started off in Melbourne, I didn’t start out the same way as they did, and I would sing my Jesus songs. So at times I thought maybe they thought I was weird.
But there is something after life - there has to be. I’m sure we can all agree on that.
I guess Joe went to find out. I felt a little awkward at times singing my songs that sometimes alluded to heaven. But maybe it wasn’t so out of place after all. Maybe I was reaching for something deeper, something more than the here and now. Maybe we all are, we just don’t all admit it or talk about it.
I am devastated to hear about Joe. Why did he leave us? Why was he one day here, and now he’s not? Why did he choose that the best option is to disappear? I thought he was someone who had it all together. That he was ok, but clearly he wasn’t. There must have been a million things going through his head, and he must have felt so alone.
Please never be afraid to tell someone what’s truly going on with you. Please never be afraid to seek help. Please look for genuine community, and please don’t stop till you find it.
For a long time now, I’ve felt like I couldn’t stop, stop to listen to my intuition or the Spirit. When I have been going about my daily life, in a rush, in the supermarket. Bumping in to an old classmate. I felt that the work I’m doing behind the scenes, to bring hope to many through music, and reach many through our movement, is enough.
But it’s not enough. I need to be able to stop. And never assume that someone is ok. Never think that just because someone appears to have everything together that they are fine. Because they may just need a kind word, or someone genuinely asking, how are you? And wanting to know the real answer. I don’t know all the answers, but I know that if we all do this, it’s going to help a lot.
It reminds me of a kind policeman who was not on duty, who found me in 2018, in turmoil, staring at the ocean. I was in the pits of depression. I felt alone, bewildered, and despairing of life itself. I felt like all my hope had dried up. I sat there crying for hours. Paralysed with fear and dread, feeling like my life had amounted to nothing. It was a quiet beach but there were still many who passed by, and I tried to hide my tears. It felt like I was sitting there for an eternity, with no one I could turn to.
Then to my amazement, a sturdy young man came up to me and asked me if I was okay.
He said he was a policeman off duty, and noticed that I seemed really upset. I was so startled by someone coming up to talk to me that it snapped me out of the state I’d been stuck in. He asked if there’s anyone I could go to for support and really encouraged me to do so. I don’t remember who I went to for support after that, but I remember that it helped give me the courage to do so. It made me realise that if this one policeman off duty cared enough to come up to me and ask me if I was okay; surely someone who really knew me would care too.
Eventually in that chapter of my life, I received enough support to become completely free of the crippling depression I was going through. It was a truly miraculous journey, one that shaped my whole life, but one I won’t go into right now.
I am still grieving the loss of Joe, and it doesn’t feel real. It is a true tragedy, and it breaks my heart. My heart goes out the most to Joe’s grieving family and friends.
But amongst all of my scattered thoughts and emotions there is an underlying resolve. And my resolve feels stronger than ever.
My resolve is stronger than ever, to go for this with all I have in me. To use music and creativity to help people to thrive in their mental health. People from all different walks of life. Lonely kids in high school, immigrants or first nations people who experience racism and inter-generational trauma. Anyone in the community, especially those who struggle to open up and share what’s really going on. I’m determined to show that I care. I’m determined to show that there’s more for every single person on this earth. That they are here in this world for a reason.
My resolve is stronger than ever, to launch Remedy Music and not let anything hold us back. With a vision to give artists and creatives more support; more of an outlet and way they can use their passions to help transform communities. My resolve is stronger than ever to help the world around me as much as I can by sharing my music; and by rallying others. As the existing team for Remedy we want to bring hope, and joy, and peace to so many who are struggling. And we’re just at the beginning of this. The vision is huge, but I believe that as more and more passionate, moved and stirred people jump on board to help, we can affect the whole earth in a way that brings light to so many dark and hopeless places.
-Melody Grace <3
